Ronald McDonald   Leave a comment

RONALD MCDONALD GETS A MAKEOVER

RONALD OR RONETTE?

He’s sexy, he’s stylish, he’s sophisticated, and somewhat surprisingly, he’s Ronald McDonald

It can't be McDonald, She doesn't have a beard.

Well what do you know Ronald McDonald has been given a well deserved makeover, according to a news item McDonalds in Japan have turned Ronald into a foxy redhead who smoulders at the camera in a flowing yellow dress, and later a red and white striped bikini with thigh length leggings and red high heels.(ED.It reminds you of a previous after show party? hopefully not to be repeated.)

A spokesman for the image change said,”We didn’t change Ronald only played about with his costume.”

THE END OF THE P.I.E.R PARTY.

It was confirmed today that Ronald McDonald did in fact appear as a Vicar when he was booked as the half time entertainment at the End of The Pier Party to mark the closure of Phoenix House Benefit Centre in Portobello. The evening was well attended and every one had a great time,unfortunately they were unprepared for the half time variety act supposedly masquerading as entertainment.Ronald dressed as a Minister for some half time Entertainment They were lulled into a false sense of security by a vicar explaining how he came to be there,a comedy sketch without the comedy, then just when they thought he had finished his act, suddenly from the speakers came the unmistakeable sound of Right Said Fred, singing I’m Too Sexy for my shirt, too sexy it hurts, sorry I just can’t help myself, da da dada da doo dum doo dum doo dum .

Well, Shock, Horror,the Vicar was suddenly doing a routine where he divested himself of his clothes, and finished up naked, except for a Reindeer Posing pouch that went, Neighhh, Neighh , when you pressed it ( that’s what HE said)   he had been given it as a present in the Office Secret Santa the previous Christmas 2005 and had been looking for an opportunity to try it on. For the 2006 Christmas Secret Santa he had received a Gentlemans Willy Grooming Kit, Gee whizz its lovely, who said civil servants were boring. I digress from the story, A few folk fainted (most people laughed) but nobody was injured. “Women are like putty in your hand when you are just about to drop your trousers” said Ronald McDonald  when asked later how it went.

Have you got a photo of Ronald McDonald that you would like others to see, then why not send one to sonsofsmycms@blueyonder.co.uk explaining the story behind the picture.

The following news item was spotted in the Daily Mail of October 2002,

25ft RONALD MCDONALD ON THE LOOSE IN WALES.

A 25ft tall inflatable Ronald McDonald was on the loose in South Wales today after it escaped from its roof top home. The brightly coloured plastic clown, mascot of the McDonalds fast food chain, had been anchored to the roof of an outlet near the town of Newport, but when staff went to inflate it in the morning they found it had been blown off.

At first it was feared to have settled on a nearby railway track which links South Wales to London. A search caused a slight delay to trains, but by nightfall yesterday Ronald was still missing. “We’ve no idea where he’s got to,” a McDonalds spokeswoman said.,”We’re offering a Big Mac to anyone who can give us information leading to his safe return.

The following news story appeared the following day in The Big Town Hornet, the No.1 paper in Wales,

BIG HORN  IS IT A BIRD? IS IT A PLANE?

 Amateur U.F.O. enthusiasts from all over Wales thought that they had hit the jackpot last night when they saw a large unidentified object hovering in the night sky. The National Centre For Unidentified Flying Objects at Idon Tbelie Veit in the Brecon Beacons was swamped with calls from all over the country. Hundreds of spotters were reported to have called the centre to say that they had seen a large object hovering in the sky above Newport. One caller claimed that the object was motionless in the sky for about half an hour then disappeared. It returned after about 15 minutes then just sat still doing nothing. This was repeated for most of the night.

A spokesman for the centre, Icum Frommars, said that they had received numerous photos and video footage of the sighting and that he had never seen anything as ugly in his life before, however the amateur enthusiasts had their hopes dashed when it was revealed that the object was actually a 25ft Ronald McDonald that had escaped from its moorings above the local McDonalds. It is thought that the brightly coloured plastic clown had broken free in an attempt to locate its long lost cousin Ronald “Happy Meal” McDonald who is thought to work (occasionally) with the Department for Work and Pensions.

The plastic clown believed that his cousin had a less demanding job and also fancied trying his hand at some Amateur Dramatics for which his cousin is reknowned. A spokesperson for the Department for Work and Pensions said, “I can certainly see the family resemblance. The 25ft clown certainly has the hovering around doing nothing down to a tee. His cousin has been getting away with that for years, As for the part about Amateur Dramatics I am not sure if he would look as realistic in woman’s clothing as his cousin. Ronald “Happy Meal” McDonald was unavailable for comment last night. It is thought that he was in the toilet with “Juggs Monthly” and would not come out.

Have you seen this person recently, do you know him or what he’s doing now, let me know of any stories involving this larger than life character. Drop me a line at sonsofsmycms@blueyonder.co.uk

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Posted November 27, 2011 by tony mcdonald

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